Life Issues

It has been 2 years since my last posting. Things have change majorly in that time. There have been a few bad ones, but most of them have been good. I am now one class away from graduating with a Associates Degree. We are out of the Federal housing program. The kids are all very active with sports and other activities.

We now live in a huge house with another family. When everyone moved in together, we were all told it wouldn't work. It has been at least 2 years and we are still going strong. The kids are well adjusted and all are doing well in school. All and all it has been a positive change and I look forward to the future.

With so many single parents today, one starts to think about child support. Most people would say "Yeah..........if you play, you should pay" or something to that effect. But is child support really worth all the hassle? I would be lying if I said getting money every month without have to work for it is always good. But with getting that money comes resposibilites and rights for the other parent. Not only does the person paying have rights, but as the custodial parent, you have the added pressure of making sure your child is provied for.

There are so many dead beat parents that it has become law that in order to get help, you must cooperate with the state's child support enforcement department. But if they are able to get money for your child, it actually will mess up any other help you may get. For example, if you have a child who receives SSI and you receive child support for this child, his SSI amount will go down depending on how much support is collected. How can that be right? These agencies count this as income, when in fact, unless it has been coming in regualr for a year or so, the parent has to worry about if the other party decides to be vidictive and stop it at anytime. How can you do a budget with that worry hanging over your head?

It's crazy. Parents have to take care of their children. That is a fact. It is also a fact that anybody can be a mother/father. It takes a special person to be a mommy/daddy. But the parent with custody should NOT have to cooperate with child support just to get help for their famliy. It isn't right. There are many reasons why a person may/may not be speaking to the other person. The children should not suffer because of a rule made up by people who do not know what is right for these families.

For some,change is very hard to accept. Others embrace it and welcome change. Change can come in many forms; some good, some bad. My family and my closest friends have decided to live under the same roof. To the "normal" person, this would be considered insane. How can 11 people with 11 different personalities possibly survive under the same roof? I can honestly say sometimes it is not easy. There are other times when you think why didn't we think of this before?

There are 11 people in a 3 bedroom home, 5 adults and 6 children ranging in ages from 14 to 5. Each of these people are different in how they do things. In the short run, the children think some many things are unfair. In the long run, these same kids are luckier than most children. They have the love of not just 2 adults, but all 5 of the adults would do anything for these kids.

These kids get the best of both world. They do not have to spend time in daycare. There is always a person home to see how their day was and to help when problems may arise. Trust me, problems will come. It seems easier to deal with these problems as a whole instead of just one or 2 people. This may not work, but the only reason it wouldn't is because the 11 people in this house didn't want it to work.

IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, THIS WAS PROBABLY A BETTER DECISION MADE BY ALL ADULTS IN THIS UNUSUAL HOME.

Every organization has policies. These rules and guidelines are put in place to help people. Is this true? As a general rule, I would have to say YES!! Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Right now, I live in a community which prohibits play equipment for children. How can this help people? This policy actually hurts the children in the neighborhood. This poor kids are so bored, some have turned to crime. By these kids turning to crime, it actually hurts the community in the long run.

This is just one example of policies which hurt people. Another one would be rules concerning harassment and discrimation. There is no way to truly prove or dissprove these actions. That makes it extremely hard for the others in the community. Because of the policies, there are innocent people getting screwed in the deal. These people have nothing to do with whatever the problem may be, they are caught in the middle by either assocation or just living in the community.

This has to stop or the community will continue to go downhill. Soon, there will be only criminals and vagrants, not the type of person you want your family living next door too.

Can people get along? This question has deeper meaning that what meets the eye. On the outside, you will see people who look like the best of friends. It may look like a wonderfully relationship. These two people may look like they can tackle anything.

But is what is portrayed really what is happening? Each relationship is different. What one person sees as being rude and totally mistreated may, in fact, be those people's way of thinking. That may be what makes their relationship work. You can never judge a person by their looks or first impressions.

To do this will result in the loss of many TRUE friends. For some people, myself included, some of my best friends have come from people I thought I would hate or just tolerate. First impressions can make/break a person. That is just wrong. You need to treat those as you want to be treated and give second chances once in awhile. Only then will you be able to have any truly meaningful relationships.

Friends, are they worth the effort? That seems to be an easy question for most. The answer would be YES!! Unfortunately, this isn't always the case. There are people out there who would have you believe they are your friend and turn around and stab you in the back.

These horrid people are not always so easy to spot. They will do almost anything in the beginning, but as time goes by, you will begin to see subtle changes. These changes may not show up for some time, or you may just not notice them, the changes are so subtle.

What can be done? Not a damn thing, that is the sad part. Some people are just evil in this way. They do not care who they hurt, or what they do, just as long as they get what they want. So my advice to whoever may be reading, is JUST BE CAREFUL!! There is no real way to spot these people until it is too late.

Everybody has neighbors. Some are lucky enough to get along with their neighbors. Others have the unfortunate luck of having neighbors who do nothing but cause trouble. This is wrong. How can it be changed?

That is the question which has been bothering people for many years now. For those who are lucky, this is a question which do not come up very often. For people like myself, neighbors are always on the lookout to start trouble. There are some steps to avoiding these type of people.

You can just ignore them. It seems that the longer you ignore your neighbors, the more upset and bothered they will become. This has its drawbacks though. An upset neighbor has the power to cause loads of trouble for your family. They can go as far as too try to make you lose your housing. This may be wrong, but its the way it goes.

You could try to kill them with kindness. For some, it will work. For others, you need to be very careful. These people can be ruthless. They do not care who they have to hurt, just as long as they are the center of attention.

There is no easy way to deal with neighbors. Whatever you decide to do, your best bet is to be careful. Do not open your home to these people. You can be friendly, but be forewarned. You neighbor will almost always have something brewing to cause you even more grief and trouble.